When I returned home from the Circus, the landscape of my life looked drastically different, both in a personal way AND in a professional way. Groups that I had either founded or played with for years in Texas were no longer a possibility for one reason or another, and to be honest, that was pretty nerve-wracking. I found myself on the brink of the unknown, not certain what was going to come through and fill those gaps. Rather than grasping desperately for whatever I could find, I chose to see what would naturally come to me - and I am SO GLAD that I did. Little did I know that so much Joy was waiting for me in this new season! This has led me into a new general “life practice” - as much as possible, choosing what truly lights me up, fills me with energy, and brings me real Joy.

Let me share what’s really lighting me up these days:

Too Much To Say & The Music of Dave Matthews

I was not familiar AT ALL with Dave Matthews, except for a very faint recollection of hearing about him from some colleagues in school at Berklee. It seemed to me that people either worshipped him or hated him (most of the comments I had heard about him and his music were more skewed to the “disparaging” side). Before I was accepted into Cirque, I had (to everyone’s surprise) joined a band called Too Much to Say, a Dave Matthews Tribute band. I joined more out of the vast respect and regard I held for the other musicians in the group (who are 100% some of Houston’s finest), and was flattered that they would ask me to be a part of the project. They were super-fans already, and had powerful personal connections to the music - I didn’t share that at the time, but it was interesting to witness their excitement. Part of my deep dive homework was to do transcriptions of the violin parts, and the deeper I got, the more drawn to it I became. While I have had a deep appreciation and enjoyment of all the country music that I have played in Texas prior to now, joining Too Much to Say was a reminder for me: I’m not only a country/bluegrass fiddler. There’s also a big part of me that is a grungy rock violinist. :)

I was genuinely sad when I had to hang it up after just one show to run away with the circus, but was thankful for the brief time in the band, and continued to be fascinated by my strange pull to the music.

When I think about it now, joining Too Much to Say was actually a portal for me: a Portal to Joy and Possibility. As I got to know the music more, and let the violin parts and my role in the band sink in, I found myself thinking: “If I was asked to, I would do a tour with Dave Matthews.” That was the first time that I had felt open to the possibility of going on such an adventure as a major tour with a major group…and I truly believe it was that mindset shift that led Cirque du Soleil into my sphere.

Needless to say, I was ELATED to rejoin Too Much to Say when I had gotten back home, and I was able to pick right back up where I left off with the group.

When I have been asked what I am drawn to through this group and the music, this is the best way I can describe it:

Dave Matthews’ music is full of HEART ENERGY. It somehow bridges the gap between musical/intellectual complexity and comforting familiarity.

It has forever changed me.

When I play that music, I want to jump, dance, and, most amazingly…SMILE.

If you know, you know. ;)

Chasing Down Joy